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Sunday, July 30, 2006

I went to bed last night wandering if I'd ever meet him.... not any one I've ever met in person.
But someone I've only interacted with in my dreams....
Seems like I cried forever, and now I know why my one side of my head hurt so bad today...
I woke up this morning ill like usual and remembered.....
many people at work today noticed my behavior was very different from the spunky, overly, excited,
smiling, laughing tiffany they were used to.....
It nomally dont last long, just a day or two, but always to soon to return,... the sorrow of having to
part with your other half........
The concert kinda linked the two together, now i just have to find out how....
It seems like when i play the music from the second band or try to recall the moments of.....
This erie gut feeling befalls me, one like no other, anxious yet nausiated,.....
Remembering this feeling, it scares me, i have felt it, just not this strong.................
This is the beginning of an awakening, of what I'm not sure....
For the whole world, a select few, or just myself, this is seriously strong.....
The last time this feeling was this strong i had a premonition, in January/February 05'
It was of a female I concidered family, she fell down and got hurt, I couldnt see her face,
just her lower back, and she fell like she slipped, all of a sudden....
So i warned all who i felt was family......
To me a family is a group of people who work in unisen, making things work,...
Helping others out when they need it, and when you need help they help you.....
Had two familys then....
My blood,.....my work (burger king).....
With it being cold and icy out I felt it was one in the family who was elder....
more subseptable to broken hips....but i still was unsure.....
so i told my manager at BK to let all the females know and to pass it around...
let all the associates know to be careful.....
called all my family by blood or told them in person....
was all quiet for two weeks.....
Then I got news from one of my co-workers....
She was not herself, and when i asked if she was okay,she started to cry....
Deciphering through her tears of shock, mourning for one,......
The night before, her cousin was stabbed to death, in front of her three year old....
The one who commited this crime, the one the child seen as daddy....
what,..... why,.......
The manager never told anyone......
I let them down,........
Was my responsibility to tell them, I trusted her,......my fault.....
Not again......
only this time I only have the feeling, nothing to go with it....
so it scares me, alot, an ive been telling every one I know about it....
Thinking maybe its linked to them.......
Looking for an answer,
who...what....when...where....why.....................................how?
some day I will know, but it may be too late.....
Thats not how its supposed to be.....
If it is the way it was before, great spirit help us....
To find the way to follow,...
to find....
to seek......
I feel i have a true purpose, one to help others......
Evaded, isolated,.....
Ignored it too long...
Not any more,......
Not again.....not again......
you as well as I know It cannot be ignored,....
Will not be ignored.....
It is a journey,.....one we have no way knowing,
one taken in the black of night.....
Take my advice, dont get lost

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